Swagger

I just want to know what "swag" is? The only time I ever heard a related word was when Ke$ha said she had swagger but she'd kick guys to the curb if they didn't look like Mick Jagger (ok...he's kinda ugly, but I guess everyone has their type, right?)

Dryer Sheets

In France dryer sheets don't really exist.  Not because it's a 3rd world country, because it's not, but because people don't really have dryers.  They like the line dry effect, I guess.  However, every apartment I lived in did have a dryer.  When I came home I had forgotten the joys of dryer sheets.  I remember the first time I put one in with my clothes like: "oh yeah I remember these things".  Oh my goodness, my clothes were so so soft!  I never really realized the difference until then.

Driving

In my particular mission we use public transportation because of it's efficiency and availability. When I came home I hadn't driven a car in 18 months, so I was a little rusty. My mom, who had taken the week off to keep me company, decided she needed some stain remover and that I should go get it. I was shaking the entire time because I was so nervous, this would be my first time DRIVING and being ALONE. She gave me some cash, because I only had 2 euros and off I went. Thankfully the trip was a success and no major (or minor) injuries to myself or other parties were dealt.

#BadPrequels

I recently came across this hashtag (#badprequels) and fell in love.

Not really sure where it originated but here are some of my favorites.
"Snakes on a conveyor belt #badprequels"
"The Lion, the Witch, and the yet to be assembled piece of room furniture from IKEA #badprequels"
"Thursday the 12th #badprequels"
"This art my brother, right here #badprequels"
"Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are hanging out #badprequels"
"Indiana Jones and the Master's Archaeology Thesis #badprequels"
"Clean Harry #badprequels"
"Plenty of Mohicans #badprequels"
"The Hobbit: Just Hanging Around in the Hole #badprequels"
"Casper the friendly neighborhood kid #badprequels"
"Fiddler on the Ladder #badprequels"

Now for the pitiful ones that just make you sad:
"We're almost out of air benders #badprequels"
"The Phantom Menace #badprequels"

RT

I just found out "RT" means re-tweet... 

Yeah, I'm ashamed.

The Set Up

A week ago my cousin came home from his mission.  

Three of his companions came to his homecoming party on Saturday.  

Today my aunt told me she asked her son if I would be a good match with one of them and he had said yes... so later on I texted him:

Me: Your mom told me she asked you to set me up with one of those guys at your party...

Cousin: Yeah she was talking to me about that.  What do you think?  :)

Me: Well, I'm still super awkward so... I will go, but it'll be awkward. hahaha

That could've gone better, maybe.  #awkwardmuch

And when I told my mom she started planning out my life with him...

And this is why guys are afraid to date (insert wide-eyed, frightened-looking emoticon here).  

First Date

My first date off my mission was also my first experience being alone with a boy I wasn't related to after having practically memorized the white handbook.  I wasn't exactly sure how to act.  I shook his hand when he first got there but then after my awkward chuckle laugh thing, that I had developed when I got home, he gave me a hug.  After talking for an hour or so about the mission and such we went to dinner and I loosened up a bit.  But it did take some internal struggling to finally realize that I wasn't breaking any rules and this was a perfectly normal thing to be doing on a Friday night.

#selfie

#selfie has been awarded "word of the year 2013"

Does anyone else see a problem with the world today? I didn't even know what that word meant until December...

I guess I'll just have to take a selfie...

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=kdemFfbS5H0

I post this video mostly for it's ridiculousness, so you probably shouldn't watch it especially because of the language and questionable moral content.

#YOLO

I remember the first time I saw #yolo...
A quite embarrassing situation actually, mostly due to the fact that I thought it was a shortened more conspicuous way to say a "gros mot" (translation: bad word)
So I was hesitant to look it up-- afraid that my poor innocent demeanor would be tainted for the rest of time (which turned out to be half true).
Finally one day I did it!  Turns out it's "you only live once"
Not so bad after all :)
The other day I saw one #yodo
?
you only die once?  ok...

Frankly, my new favorite website: http://www.internetslang.com

Groceries

After doing my shopping in France for over a year, I guess I forgot every habit from the rest of my entire life concerning the area... I went shopping with my mom the day after I got home and found out that, apparently, the Sam's Club employees highly object to customers refilling their own carts after check-out.

First Reunion

My family had tickets to General Conference and there just happened to be a mission reunion the same weekend at my first mission president's house.  I went with some of my former companions, excited to speak French again and see people I missed.
I walked in the door and was immediately greeted with a hug from a random guy I'd never met before.  After I finally got away I saw one of my first companions and told her that some guy had just touched me and that was the first time someone who wasn't family had since I'd been home.  She chuckled at me and said "that's my boyfriend." Hmmm, no wonder he knew my name.
The rest of the evening was filled with many more awkward encounters.  I was one of two in attendance who had just come home 3 weeks previous.  Needless to say I was a little shell shocked.
At one point I was looking for a trash can and came upon a past zone leader he gave me a hug and gave me the most interesting introduction to his girlfriend (now fiancee!!!!) and then I just asked where the trash was and scurried off.

#Hashtag

Getting back into the social media world was not difficult for me, my Facebook was up and running within a couple days of being home.  I wanted to stay in touch with members in France and recent converts and past companions who had already returned home.
The only thing different would be a symbol.
--> # <-- this one, to be exact.
Formerly known to me as a number sign, sharp, or pound symbol was now widely being used across cyberspace (and beyond)
With a new and improved name: the hashtag
the dictionary definition being "a mark used within a message to identify a keyword or topic of interest and facilitate a search for it"
My attention was first brought to this new way of communication when I discovered links to a magical place called instagram.
I was mistaken, however, to assume that I knew what these all meant without an explanation.
Someone commenting on a photo may say #imsohawt #nofilter #throwbackthursday, and really does that make sense to you?
So being my prideful self I tried to deduce the meaning myself only to find out that after 4 months #nofilter has nothing to do with the inability to filter comments about yourself such as "I'm so hawt" but, indeed, that you did not edit your photo.  A #throwback was a bit easier to interpret for, back in my day, we called these a blast from the past.

Home

Coming home from my mission was a pretty frightening experience.  Though I was blessed to be able to hang out with a Tahitian missionary on her way to Mozambique in the London Heathrow Airport for my 4 hour lay over, members sat next to me on the plane across the Atlantic, and I was relieved to have the dank smell of cigarette smoke on the shuttle all the way home.
France had changed me.
I was still in a daze when I got home and hugged my family in the dark parking lot where I was dropped off.
It felt like a dream.  That night I sat alone in my room on my queen size bed.
I was going to sleep here by myself?  It was HUGE and my companion had always been a bunk bed away for the past year and a half.
This was going to take some adjustments.
I went to sleep around midnight since my sister's boyfriend was over talking to my mom and I woke up the next morning at 5 pumped and ready to go.  According to my internal timeline I had actually slept in until 1 in the afternoon and that was a big no-no by mission standards.  For the next week I continued to wake up at strange hours like 2 am.  Eventually I got it down and my jet lag went away.